10 steps to misery

(I found this article online during a search about self-esteem...too hilarious not to share)

Want to know how to feel bad about yourself? This step-by-step guide is a 100% effective and is guaranteed to make you feel really, really bad about yourself!

1. Compare yourself to everyone and everything around you. Pick out things they have that you don't. Think how "lucky" they are and how "unlucky" you are.
2. Put yourself down at any opportunity possible. Avoid saying or believing you are an OK person at any time.
3. Never ever take a compliment. Tell people that "it was nothing" or that you are not what they are saying you are. Don't thank anyone, always pretend you didn't hear.
4. Tell yourself over and over again things like "I am horrible", "I am stupid", "I am ugly", "I am disgusting" or "I am useless".
5. Hang around people and involve yourself in things where you are put down or disrespected. This helps make the things in step 4 sink in even more!
6. Make a long list of all of your past failures, embarrassments, negative qualities, wrongdoings and stuff-ups. Pin it on your fridge, in your bedroom, behind the toilet door, in the front of your diary.
7. Stick to yourself. Don't let anyone near you and never let people really know you. Avoid giving compliments, doing things for others or contributing to anything.
8. Stay clear of anything that you enjoy or love doing.
9. Try and live up to everybody's expectations. Make all your decisions based on what you think other people might approve of.
10. Don't try anything new or take action in your life. Sit back and keep waiting for something to "just happen" to change things for you.

Sometimes, without even really knowing it, we can actively choose to be miserable! In reality, it is more likely that you would like to invite feelings of self-esteem into your life.

One definition of true love

True love is...

while sitting in a cold, drafty movie theater in flip-flops, asking the love of your life if he wouldn't mind removing his socks...yes, the ones on his feet...and loaning them to you for the duration of the movie...and him responding with a yes. :)

Gerbil Cannibals

This was in my reading material about the developmental stages of a first grader, and I just had to share:

"Amphibians such as frogs, toads, and snakes are common interests as are sharks, dinosaurs, and other "monsters." This is also an age where classroom pets, such as rabbits, gerbils, and so on, are big hits. This does not always work out as planned, however. In one of the classrooms the author was visiting, the teacher had brought in two gerbils. It turned out that they were male and female and soon had babies. Unfortunately, the father then ate the babies and within days both the mother and father died."