Monday, December 29, 2008

too good to keep for myself: coffee omen

In other news, I saw yet another cup full of coffee left beside the coffee vending machine. It's the same every time -- I know because I've done it myself -- the coffee machine has these splendid pictures (I never thought I'd use the word splendid, it sounds so Willy Wonka, the old one, not Johnny Depp) anyway splendid pictures of lattes and caramel coffees. You put your 50 cents in and it starts churning and bubbling and sprays out a bunch of dirty water. You're like, "that doesn't look like the picture, but surely it won't taste that bad." Bleg, speww....and you're so disgusted that you don't even throw it away, you leave it there beside the coffee machine so the next poor person thinking of getting a vending machine cup of coffee will see the omen and realize that the above paragraph just happened to someone else.
There's a machine gun exhibition show in Kentucky in April. A friend invited me. I was gonna go, fire a machine gun, hell yeah -- or I could bring a bunch of flowers and put them in the barrels of the guns -- though something tells me one might "accidentally" go off on me if I did that. No seriously, I was gonna go until I figured out it costs a dollar per bullet and the things shoot something like 200 bullets per minute. Ouch.

~sent to me on Valentine's Day 2008 from someone who apparently ISN'T a hippie

too good to keep for myself: kitty poop drama

so I'm on a cat poop vigil. the 2 cats are adamantly refusing to go in the new litter and have been trying all day to go in various corners of the house. So i ingeniously locked myself in with them in my room + litter box and am watching them until they poop in the box! This is my life!!

~Sent to me from orange foot and white foot's mama Feb 2008

My Jesus, My Savior: Your Ark

As I was reading through a devotional Bible for women, I found a list of questions to answer, most of the time which I don't remember after I answer them, if I even do. But this one stuck with me: Who would you take with your on your ark? Family comes to mind, foremost, but the floods came for a reason, so I decided some of my family probably wouldn't be invited on my ark. Noah took 8 people: besides himself, he took his wife, his three sons, and their wives. I'm not saying that my family would be best to repopulate the earth by any means, but I know what strengths each family member has. I would still have room and decided that babies take up much less space than full grown humans, so I would fill my ark with as many babies from cultures around the world--I'd say at least four babies for one adult. I know my ark would favor orphans from Moldova, though, especially the gypsy twin boys.