too good to keep for myself: playin' opossum

Dean and I killed a possum last night...well he did. I came back from the gym and somehow the was a possum near the front porch. Fedor and Dutch were smelling it and when I asked Fedor about it he thought he had done something wrong so he ran off. However, as I began to inspect and poke it with a stick I realized it was 'playing possum" so I kinda freaked and then Dean came outside and i explained the situation to him. We decided to get a shovel and Dean dispatched of the animal with a few powerful wacks. I guess Fedor must have found it, but we killed it and threw it in the neighbors yard. Us 3, possums and woodland creatures 0. Oh yeah, Ragu killed a mouse yesterday, so I guess that counts too so its 4 to zero.

~From Fedor's daddy December 2007

My Jesus, My Savior: Catch a Monkey

I had a few plans to better myself while being in a new state. I have never been around so many emotionally and spiritually healthy people before. They have been more encouraging than I could have hoped. Spiritually, I wanted to grow stronger. I had a wonderful summer and felt strengthened by what I saw in Moldova, but I fell apart when I came back home. I don't understand how I can go from being so close to God to being so far from God.

I have had many confirmations that I am currently where God wants me to be, whether it's my health that is prospering, my emotional strength, and now my spiritual strength. I decided that because I didn't have much of a social life anymore and had some extra time on my hands that I would sign up for some Christian classes offered through churches in the area. In February, I will be in three classes. Each one so far has really stirred up some cobwebs deep within me and I know it's not going to be easy flushing those out, but I'm looking forward to the spiritual growth.

So here's the humor. My Sunday evening class 'Search for Significance' started out with a question: How do you catch a monkey in the wild? Yes, alive. It's quite simple, actually. You just place an object inside a jar or gourd that won't come out and drill or cut a hole in the side that the monkey can stick his or her hand into and grab onto that object. Once the monkey grabs onto that object, he or she will never let go. Then you can come down and scoop up your monkey with a burlap sack. Unbelievable, but true.

The follow up question was 'What's inside your gourd that you just won't let go?' Depending on the size of your gourd....mine fills the room ...you might have quite a lot of problems or situations that you can't quite let go. Unforgiveness is a big one for me, and to quite a lot of people. I just don't quite know how to let things completely go and move on.

What's the use in dwelling on events that have happened in the past? How do I move on? I know for one thing that this is not something I can do myself. Just as I have been forgiven and loved unconditionally through the love of Jesus Christ, I am commanded to extend that love and forgiveness to others, no matter what the circumstance. It just doesn't come easy, does it?

But God is giving me more to live for every day. I see now that God needs me to clear out the cobwebs and make room for more love. Yet another confirmation that I'm right where I need to be.

At Last

Meant for each other...

southern hospitality: 'They're not NKOTB anymore'

I've been living below the Mason Dixon line for almost three months now. People talk about southern hospitality all the time, but it's not really people being nice to you. I don't think they know how to be rude or ignore people. My radar was a lot stronger when I first moved here. While I still have the feeling that I'm an alien transported from a different planet, things aren't quite as shocking now as at first. Although, I will never get used to the three Confederate flags I pass on the way to work.

The day before Halloween, I venture into 'town' to open a bank account. 'Town' is a land of strip malls--something not too unfamiliar in Ohio. Hoping not to make eye contact with anyone and just 'be,' I sit down to wait and pull out my book while in the waiting room at the bank. An old woman just has to speak to me and comment on what I'm doing. "Yep, I'm reading." And then finally here she comes. My favorite southerner thus far. We'll just call her Tammy. Tammy is in her mid-thirties, dyed blond hair with tons of make-up and a bit overweight. I step into her tiny, depressing bank office and would like to get this done as soon as possible. Mini blinds depress me.

In the midst of all the paperwork, Tammy mentions that she went to a concert last night and she's a bit tired. What concert? I ask. New Kids on the Block. And inside my head, I'm thinking that if I ever went to see NKOTB, I wouldn't ever tell anyone. But what comes out of my mouth is, "They're all still alive?" I have no idea how I didn't burst out laughing. But I managed to somehow let Tammy know that I was interested to get as much information out of her that I could. "I never really got into NKOTB," I said. "They're not NKOTB anymore," Tammy responded without a smile. Whoops. She then tells me what songs they sang, favorite hits which include "You've got the right stuff...baby!" "Step by Step" and "Hangin' Tough." I wanna puke all over myself, but after twenty minutes, all we've talked about is this band I thought for sure had fallen into the cracks and would only be brought out by VH1's Pop Up Video. By the end, she showed me her t-shirt she was wearing under her jacket and a nearly life size magazine with all their photos in it. I was dying. And then I realized that there are more people in this world like her if these punks are still holding concerts, and I stopped laughing on the inside...until I got to my car, of course, and called Kartika, who wondered why stuff like this always happens to me. I'm not sure, but I am grateful that people like Tammy do exist. I guess someones got to hang tough and keep bad 80's and 90's music alive.