My Jesus, My Savior: Catch a Monkey

I had a few plans to better myself while being in a new state. I have never been around so many emotionally and spiritually healthy people before. They have been more encouraging than I could have hoped. Spiritually, I wanted to grow stronger. I had a wonderful summer and felt strengthened by what I saw in Moldova, but I fell apart when I came back home. I don't understand how I can go from being so close to God to being so far from God.

I have had many confirmations that I am currently where God wants me to be, whether it's my health that is prospering, my emotional strength, and now my spiritual strength. I decided that because I didn't have much of a social life anymore and had some extra time on my hands that I would sign up for some Christian classes offered through churches in the area. In February, I will be in three classes. Each one so far has really stirred up some cobwebs deep within me and I know it's not going to be easy flushing those out, but I'm looking forward to the spiritual growth.

So here's the humor. My Sunday evening class 'Search for Significance' started out with a question: How do you catch a monkey in the wild? Yes, alive. It's quite simple, actually. You just place an object inside a jar or gourd that won't come out and drill or cut a hole in the side that the monkey can stick his or her hand into and grab onto that object. Once the monkey grabs onto that object, he or she will never let go. Then you can come down and scoop up your monkey with a burlap sack. Unbelievable, but true.

The follow up question was 'What's inside your gourd that you just won't let go?' Depending on the size of your gourd....mine fills the room ...you might have quite a lot of problems or situations that you can't quite let go. Unforgiveness is a big one for me, and to quite a lot of people. I just don't quite know how to let things completely go and move on.

What's the use in dwelling on events that have happened in the past? How do I move on? I know for one thing that this is not something I can do myself. Just as I have been forgiven and loved unconditionally through the love of Jesus Christ, I am commanded to extend that love and forgiveness to others, no matter what the circumstance. It just doesn't come easy, does it?

But God is giving me more to live for every day. I see now that God needs me to clear out the cobwebs and make room for more love. Yet another confirmation that I'm right where I need to be.