southern hospitality: 'They're not NKOTB anymore'

I've been living below the Mason Dixon line for almost three months now. People talk about southern hospitality all the time, but it's not really people being nice to you. I don't think they know how to be rude or ignore people. My radar was a lot stronger when I first moved here. While I still have the feeling that I'm an alien transported from a different planet, things aren't quite as shocking now as at first. Although, I will never get used to the three Confederate flags I pass on the way to work.

The day before Halloween, I venture into 'town' to open a bank account. 'Town' is a land of strip malls--something not too unfamiliar in Ohio. Hoping not to make eye contact with anyone and just 'be,' I sit down to wait and pull out my book while in the waiting room at the bank. An old woman just has to speak to me and comment on what I'm doing. "Yep, I'm reading." And then finally here she comes. My favorite southerner thus far. We'll just call her Tammy. Tammy is in her mid-thirties, dyed blond hair with tons of make-up and a bit overweight. I step into her tiny, depressing bank office and would like to get this done as soon as possible. Mini blinds depress me.

In the midst of all the paperwork, Tammy mentions that she went to a concert last night and she's a bit tired. What concert? I ask. New Kids on the Block. And inside my head, I'm thinking that if I ever went to see NKOTB, I wouldn't ever tell anyone. But what comes out of my mouth is, "They're all still alive?" I have no idea how I didn't burst out laughing. But I managed to somehow let Tammy know that I was interested to get as much information out of her that I could. "I never really got into NKOTB," I said. "They're not NKOTB anymore," Tammy responded without a smile. Whoops. She then tells me what songs they sang, favorite hits which include "You've got the right stuff...baby!" "Step by Step" and "Hangin' Tough." I wanna puke all over myself, but after twenty minutes, all we've talked about is this band I thought for sure had fallen into the cracks and would only be brought out by VH1's Pop Up Video. By the end, she showed me her t-shirt she was wearing under her jacket and a nearly life size magazine with all their photos in it. I was dying. And then I realized that there are more people in this world like her if these punks are still holding concerts, and I stopped laughing on the inside...until I got to my car, of course, and called Kartika, who wondered why stuff like this always happens to me. I'm not sure, but I am grateful that people like Tammy do exist. I guess someones got to hang tough and keep bad 80's and 90's music alive.